WHY?!?!

Why is it that every time I have to turn the volume up, turn on, turn off, or change the channel on the t.v. and can't seem to locate the blasted remote, I attempt various different contortions and bends and twists to avoid the strenuous act of lifting my body from the couch and shuffling to the t.v. while being fully aware of the fact that it actually takes more energy and time??? It seems that that small fact always lapses my mind at the instant when it would be useful. I'm tired of my brain automatically turn into a complete ignoramus of itself whenever this happens and I have to deal with one of my nuclear family members gazing at me as if I am some sort of Cirque-du-Soleil reject while I strive to reach for the remote with my left foot. I still feel the pain of tumbling of the couch onto the surprisingly painful edge of my metal-edged table at the interm I was reaching for the oh-so-distant, swaure POWER button.
To me this is one human err that must be revamped as quickly as possible.